For the full show notes and access to resources mentioned in this episode, visit hhttps://www.easyscaling.com/blog/episode15
Tune in as we talk about the emotional roller coaster that is owning a business. We dive into things like changing your mind, thinking through worst-case scenarios, navigating failed launches, and the magic of breakthroughs after breakdowns.
My guest is Julia DeWolfe, she is one of my coaches, a certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioner, and what she calls an 'everything coach' for entrepreneurs.
Julia is a regular guest on the podcast and together we explore the more emotional side of business ownership and dig into many of the things that I've personally struggled with or overcome in my own business.
Topics discussed:
Connect with Jordan Schanda King:
Connect with this week’s guest Julia DeWolfe
Love what you heard. Reviews really help us out! As a thank you, you can get my 90-Day Planning Formula ($97 Value) by submitting a screenshot of your 5-star review at easyscaling.com/podcastreview
For the full show notes and access to resources mentioned in this episode, visit hhttps://www.easyscaling.com/blog/episode15
Tune in as we talk about the emotional roller coaster that is owning a business. We dive into things like changing your mind, thinking through worst-case scenarios, navigating failed launches, and the magic of breakthroughs after breakdowns.
My guest is Julia DeWolfe, she is one of my coaches, a certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practitioner, and what she calls an 'everything coach' for entrepreneurs.
Julia is a regular guest on the podcast and together we explore the more emotional side of business ownership and dig into many of the things that I've personally struggled with or overcome in my own business.
Topics discussed:
Connect with Jordan Schanda King:
Connect with this week’s guest Julia DeWolfe
Love what you heard. Reviews really help us out! As a thank you, you can get my 90-Day Planning Formula ($97 Value) by submitting a screenshot of your 5-star review at easyscaling.com/podcastreview
Ep#15 - How to navigate failed launches, money setbacks, emotional breakdowns, and all the things no one talks about
[00:00:00] Jordan: All righty. In today's episode, we're talking with Julia again about the emotional roller coaster that is business. this is a really fun one. It's very windy. It's very raw. It is very transparent. I was a little uncomfortable, but, I think it ended up being good and hopefully, we expose some things that we think are not, not going well in the industry.
But also things happening in everyone's businesses and how you can work through them—And just talking about them in a transparent way. Things like changing your mind. Things like having bad stuff happen in your business and how you deal with it. You are thinking through worst case scenarios, things like failed launches and moving through fear in the middle of a launch and all kinds of things.
[00:00:51] Jordan: So. I hope you enjoy this conversation.
Welcome. Welcome, everyone. Welcome, Julia. Glad to have you back again. Happy to be back. Yeah. So we've, we've tackled some, some pretty good topics so far. And I think we're going to try to cram a lot into this episode, and we were talking about what the theme is, and to me, the theme feels like it is. Just generally the roller coaster, the emotional roller coaster that is entrepreneurship.
And so that's what we're going to dive into. We're going to see where it goes. All right. Sounds good. Okay. We're going to skip your intro because people can listen to some of your other episodes. Yeah. And let's just dive into. Some of the things that we talked about dissecting in this episode things like failed launches, and changing your mind.
What were some of the other things fear versus align misalignment breakthroughs versus breakdowns? All kinds of stuff. Where should we start?
[00:02:03] Julia: Let's start on changing our mind because I feel like that will help us also talk about if a, if it's a failed launch or if it was just something that we changed our mind on mm-hmm mm-hmm
So I think changing our mind is really difficult when we have our own business, especially if we've gone public with whatever the big idea is that we have. Because sometimes we connect, changing our mind to like, oh, nobody signed up. So I'm just not going to do that right now. or whatever.
And then we feel embarrassed that we're changing our mind, or if we've had people commit to something, we decided we don’t want to do it. That can be difficult. So why don't you tell me a little bit about it, or tell all of us a little bit about how you feel about changing your mind?
[00:02:52] Jordan: yes. So this is something I've had to get better at.
I'm still not the greatest at it, but I'm better than when we started working together. Mm-hmm so. Let’s talk about one of the really distinct times that I remember changing my mind, and that was around a launch. And so I think that'll get us going in some of these other directions too.
So I launched a mastermind at, in like spring 20, 22. And it was the second time that I launched it when I launched it. Most recently it went well. And we could dive into like the contrast between this, but about six months earlier, I had come up with this idea, and I was like, oh man, This mastermind, this is the thing.
This is like, I wanna do a mastermind. I've always wanted to do a mastermind. And I, I had done them in previous businesses, but I knew I wanted to do like my own. And so I got to work because you know, me, that's what I do. I have an idea. And then I like get to work on it. And so I put together the sales page, do the copy, the emails, everything, and I put it out there and I had someone buy.
And then I like started to really get deep into like, okay, this is gonna be a serious launch. Let's go. And almost immediately was met with resistance. in my mind, of course. and you and I went back and forth about this a lot. And I, I, I just kept coming back to the fact that I didn't wanna sell it. I was like, I don't want to sell this thing and I couldn't figure out why.
And. I will say, you know, my other coach Sabrina had mentioned to me and I see this happening with my clients all the time, too. She's like often when that is happening, it's because you don't actually wanna deliver the thing that you're selling. It's not like it's not necessarily just the ickiness of like, you don't believe in what you're selling or something like that.
Cuz that can happen too. or maybe you don't feel confident in the price. I mean, there's all kinds of things that you can, that can come up to make you not wanna sell something. But in particular I think this was the thing for me was that I didn't actually wanna do it. Like, what else do you remember from that time?
I
[00:05:02] Julia: remember that's very accurate of like that you didn't wanna do it, especially because now we have the benefit of comparing the two launches for. Now as it stands, where it's like, so in alignment with what you wanna do and how you're running it and all of it versus how you were planning on doing it back then.
And at the time also, because of how your business was working, there was you, you had a different kind of energy going into your business. You were working with your clients and a little bit of a different way things had changed. And so then when you were thinking about doing that mastermind, I just remember you kept coming back to like, I don't want to be doing this this way.
Like, you weren't really liking the details of what you were offering, but it also felt like you had kind of like pressed go and you were on this like rolling mine cart. I think I, I played donkey Kong a lot when I was little. I don't know if you could play donkey Kong country, but like the mine cart level was my fear.
And that's what it felt like, where it was like you jumped in and you were like, here we go. We're going. And, That's that's what I just remember is there was a lot of details you didn't like, even though you had kind of placed the framework there, which is something we all do all the time where it's like, oh, here's this idea.
And I don't really like it, but I'm going in on it. And
[00:06:23] Jordan: yeah. Well, I think it's partly because we're not really, we're not really asking ourselves if we like it. So here here's a, here's a small example, that I think may illustrate this even more concretely. I, now I'm running this mastermind. It has changed.
And actually I think that's a really interesting thing that I significantly changed the offer before I relaunched it. And then it was like easy peasy. And we can talk about that, but I have relaunched this mastermind and I've now opened it up for a second round of enrollment and. And I have new people starting right now and we have a second pod and I'm, I'm trying to schedule the calls.
And it's like, for me, it's really important that the people who are buying into, especially at this like early level of this offer, that they are being accommodated as far as like the, the call times and things like that is just something that's really important to me. And so I've been working with them and I ask everyone when they come in, you know, when are you available?
And I ended up with this call time that people said that they wanted, and I put it out there and luckily one person was like, I actually can't do that. So we kind of went back to the drawing board to find a new time. And I was so relieved because I did not wanna meet at that time. And so. I started to offer another time that we had originally settled on Fridays, Friday kind of mid-morning.
And so then I changed it to Friday at 2:00 PM and I put it out there and I was like, I instantly was like, Nope. Mm-hmm no, no, no, no. I do not wanna have an almost weekly call every single Friday. and so that's the thing that I think most people don't stop to like tap into that, that, that, no and that like resistance of, Ooh, I actually don't wanna do this.
They just kind of go with it because it's like the easy thing or it's convenient for the other person or whatever. And so I nixed that and we went back to the drawing board again and I said, okay, we're actually gonna do this on Mondays or Thursdays. And I took that a step further, and I know this is like super like in the weeds, but I was just gonna leave it up to them for Mondays or Thursdays, but I slept on it.
And the next day I was like, oh, this obviously needs to be on Monday. Like for me, this needs to be on Monday. I don't want the call on Thursday. And so just like really tapping into that and listening to what it, what is it that you actually want because it plays such a big role in your ability to show up and do the thing and then get more people in it.
Like, I would be so stressed if we were doing this call every Friday. What a nightmare. Yeah.
[00:09:01] Julia: Yeah. There goes every weekend forever. Yeah. But that is something that we do where a couple of funny things, one thing is when there's like resistance around this of like, okay. A call time or. A, a specific detail of the offer that you are actually not that excited about.
For some reason we go in hard on that one thing where we're like, oh, that's the feature we're gonna keep. Like, we really push into that sometimes. And some of that can come a little bit from, people, pleasing people, pleasing place, where we want people to like our offer. We feel like we're making that offer more palatable to people.
And so we're just, you know, everything with ice cream and sprinkles and everything on top of it to try to get them to buy this thing. And we're totally blasting past our own needs, our own boundaries, those kind of things. And so, that's something that a lot of us, a lot of us do. And then the other thing is, when you mentioned about wanting to sell that thing, if you make an offer and it has some of these details that you don't actually like, even as people have committed to it, You're not really gonna be excited about going and filling.
Whatever that offer is at all. In fact, you'd be better off not having people come and do it. And so it can be a little bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy when we really stick to those kind of things. Because even though you knew, I didn't really want anybody to do it anyway, your head is like, I put all that effort in, advertising this, whatever it is that you're selling and nobody came and that's, what's gonna happen after the next time.
And you're not factoring in your own energy around this offer. So even though it can be really scary to change your mind, if you do like a cost analysis on that, it's a huge benefit to changing your mind right. At the beginning, versus really digging your heels in and sticking out for something that
[00:10:58] Jordan: you hate.
Yeah. And, and let's, let's talk about when you, when you don't change your mind before you've already put it out there, because that's exactly what happened to me. So when I launched the mastermind the original time, the very first time, and I had the one person sign up. And then finally got the clarity of, mm, I don't wanna do this so then we had to figure out how are we going to tackle that?
and we went through like different scenarios of, okay, well, do we just give a refund? Do I offer something different? I mean, there's all kinds of different approaches that you can take to this. And I'm honestly, I can't even remember what we did now. I think, I think I credited her towards a different, like one on one type thing, which was fine with me, and worked out, I think really, really well.
but I, I guess that to say. That even if you have sold the thing and made the commitment, you can still change your mind because, I mean, I can't imagine, I can't imagine what it would've been like to try to like put more energy into that offer and keep trying to sell it. When I had clearly decided this is not, I wasn't aligned with, I think it was mostly the timing I wasn't aligned with the offer.
[00:12:12] Jordan: I wasn't aligned with selling it. And I think it had a lot to do with the timing of it because I was pregnant. I was pregnant and I was kind of thinking through like, oh my gosh, if I, if I fill this, how am I gonna deliver on it? That
[00:12:29] Julia: kept coming up a lot, right from the beginning. And I also think it's important to factor in, when we're creating an offer.
What, whatever it may be. It's so important to think about our motivation for creating this offer. And what's our main drive around creating this offer, because you could have a great idea like this, this mastermind was an incredible idea as you've seen and you knew it was going to be, but because the timing wasn't right, we, we start to make decisions about this, that it's just not aligned with the way you want your business to feel.
And so things, aren't, things won't click. And so if you're making a decision to kind, not throw it together, but quick, quickly get something together because you have this idea and you wanna act on it and you wanna go. And you're not really paying attention to the signals of like, okay, the timing's not really right.
I'm not gonna be able to do as good of a job as I want on this. I'm doing this because I would like an influx of cash. Like those different motivations will not really make for a great. Offer or a great time for you and your business. Yeah. And so it's really important to stop and to think about, okay, why am I feeling this push to just go ahead with this, with this when I'm, I'm not feeling like it's a good
[00:13:44] Jordan: idea.
Yeah. The, so the way that I think about this, and it's easier for me to spot it now, because you can kind of tap into the feeling and that is, if I ever feel like I'm forcing something, that's like the signal that like something's off, it's either not the right timing. It's not the right offer. It's not the right price.
It's not the right, whatever. But if it feels like forcing, and I think I've talked about this on social media somewhere at some point, but like, you know how, when you forget something like you, you were gonna do something or you had a thought and then you like, forget it. And then you're like sitting there and you're like, straining, like you're, you know, like cringing your forehead.
Like really trying to remember what the thing was. and you just can't and then as soon as you stop trying, it just like pops into your head. And so that's kind of like the comparison that I feel when, when I'm trying to force something, versus when it's, it's in alignment and it just, it just happens. And it's like almost effortless.
That doesn't mean you don't have to still like, do things and, and work at it. But, the feeling is that different to me.
[00:14:49] Julia: Yeah. And that's a really accurate way to know. That's, that's one of those skills that we practice through use, and then we realize, oh no, it is actually okay for me to trust when something is easy and that's difficult for a lot of people who have their own business, because we've been pumped this idea of like push through the hard and, you know, jump out of your comfort zone and go, and we get that kind of hustle mentality of like the harder it is, the better, because we're, you know, born through grit and all that stuff, but really.
Our business. Doesn't have to be like that. And it's so much better when it's not like that when we're not in that daily grind of those things. And instead we just look and see, what's really flowing right now. What feels good? What would it feel like if I just poured my attention into my strengths right now, and those, those can change what we feel good at or what we feel excited about can change.
We've talked about that a lot, but then we can look at, okay, the things are all gonna get done. The offers will be made. All of the things will be done, but now every single one of them is gonna line up with where you are excited to go. Instead of, well, you know, this particular kind of offer, isn't actually speaking to my strengths, but someone once told me that that would make more sense.
So I have to do it that way. And then it's just
[00:16:12] Jordan: gonna feel like a slog. Yeah, we, we do a lot of have-tos in business for sure. And, and I think, Have to is related to what we think our clients need or want. But then also just like, kind of to your point a minute ago, we kind of do this. Self-imposed have to, when we have an idea and we create this like totally unnecessary sense of urgency for ourselves, that like, well, I have to get this out.
And, and I see that so much with my clients that I do the same thing. Like I get it and I like to move fast on stuff. So I, I, I hate when I have an idea and then I can't move forward with on it. And so that, that's definitely a, another practice in business, but I, I have to play that role a lot of times with my clients in, in just asking the question of like, well, why do you wanna launch this in two weeks?
What's the reason here? Why are we rushing through this process? Why? And if they don't have a good reason, then we need to change the plan. because. To stack on top of that. A lot of times when they try to rush the process, they're gonna show up in a very frantic energy and like this scarcity mindset in air quotes.
and that's gonna be felt in, in every aspect of what they do in that launch and putting that offer out
[00:17:35] Julia: majorly majorly. Everyone can tell. Yeah. And it's such a crazy thing when you're in that space, because you really can't tell other people can tell, but you really can't tell, and you may think your messaging and your marketing is so exciting and really driving people to it.
But you we've all, we've all done posts about an offer and then you look back on it and you. Ew. I don't like the way that that came across at all and we've all done it, but that is a time for you to kind of examine. What was your energy around that launch? Why were you doing that? Like you said, why do you feel like you have to get this off the ground in two weeks?
Because when we push that, not only does it come across in the energy, but we just start making decisions that we're not going to like, and that goes to that thing of like, it's really, it's not as easy to change your mind before you launch something, but it's even harder to change your mind after you launch something.
But it doesn't mean that it's not possible. I'd like to ask you about, because there's been some times where it's just scary to do a launch or to make a decision to move to that next level. How do you personally tell the difference between I'm just scared or this is a bad
[00:18:52] Jordan: choice. Oh man. Okay. This is hard.
This is really hard. And every time I feel like I've kind of got this figured out and then it sneaks up on me again and, can surprise me. So, you know, thinking back to the very first launch of the mastermind and it kept coming back up, over and over and over again that like, I just don't wanna do this and it didn't feel good.
It felt, it felt heavy. I was not excited. and, and we talked through this actually specifically like, okay, well, what if five people signed up? What if 10 people signed up? And I actually couldn't even get excited thinking about people signing up. And so that was kind of like the flag for me that was like, okay, actually I don't need to do this.
This isn't a fear problem. This isn't, oh, I'm scared that this launch is gonna fail. This is, oh, I just don't wanna do it, period. and that was a very different feeling than flash forward to the, is it flash forward or fast forward? I
[00:19:58] Julia: believe both exist. It is. Okay. Yeah.
[00:20:02] Jordan: Okay. I'm gonna have to look that up after, looking forward to the relaunch of the mastermind, which I did by the way, partly on maternity leave.
And partly, partly while I was nine months pregnant. so you would think that it would've been an even more stressful time to do a launch, but it just wasn't. It was so. Obvious of the thing to do and offer. And I felt so good about it and excited about it. It didn't really feel like a ton of work. and it was a very different feeling in the middle of that launch when I kind of had this, Ooh, I don't know.
I don't know if I should do this. It was like kind of the same, the same thought and it felt different. It was more fear versus misalignment. And the reason that I know that is because I was just, I was scared that I was gonna be disappointed and I was scared that I was gonna be embarrassed if it didn't work.
And that was the thing that kept coming up. Not like, not like thinking about, oh, well, what if I got 10 people in it? Oh my gosh, I would be thrilled. I was so excited. But thinking about what if this fails. I, I, it was purely ego. It was purely like fear of embarrassment was the thing that kept coming up.
And then I just, I mean, talked with, you, talked to Sabrina, talked with a bunch of people and I was like, okay, well you just need to get over that. I just need to get over yourself and keep moving forward and not stop in the middle of the launch because so many people do that. They get that little, those, those launch jitters and they have a little freak out and then they pull back instead of putting the gas, you know, pedal to the metal, they ease back.
And then that's why it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and the launch fails.
[00:21:49] Julia: Yeah, because we lose track of that. Like. What's your worst fear in this moment. So if you look and you say my fir my worst fear is that nobody's going to sign up. Well, guess what, if you totally abandon your marketing campaign and fizzle out, nobody's going to sign up.
Yeah. So the same thing happens either way. And so that's really scary. But when you find that, like, okay, what's my worst fear here. If the worst fear is not that people are actually gonna sign up and then you're gonna be committed to this thing that , you feel like you're gonna hate if the fear is that, oh, what if I was really vulnerable and excited about this thing and put a lot of time into it and effort and put a lot of myself in here and then people decide.
That it's not worth their money. Oh, that's gonna hurt my feelings okay. That we can work with, but that's a different kind of working with than bottling it up and saying, well, I'm just never gonna do another offer again, cuz that's not ,
[00:22:47] Jordan: that's not what we're going to do. Yeah. Yeah. And, and just practically what we did is just redirected energy to more content.
And so, Sabrina was like, I think you just need to like share some more stuff. Like put some testimonials out there, like put all the things. And I was like, okay. And it's funny because I took that maybe in ran with it a little too, too far. But I had originally planned, I think, like seven emails for this launch and I ended up writing like 30 launch emails which is, I dunno, maybe don't go that far.
Even though clearly worked out. I think I ended up with like a 70 K launch. but. It was just once I decided, and again, I think this is the important thing for, for people to do is like, it's at least what you tell me, like your feelings are valid, like recognize the feelings, recognize that you're maybe terrified, but getting clear on what you're actually terrified about and then deciding if you're gonna move forward and moving forward through it anyway.
and, and again, not like pulling back out of fear.
[00:23:53] Julia: Yeah. You have to take care of your emotions. You have to acknowledge them, validate them and then decide what you're going to do. And that step by step that you just gave is also a very clear way to know. Is it that it's not aligned with me? Or am I just nervous about doing this?
Because if something's not aligned with you, you're probably not gonna be able to dig up the excitement to go nuts on socials and write 30 launch emails because you won't have that much to talk about . But if something is. This is what you're supposed to be doing. This is the need that you found in your audience.
This is, you know, you've put a lot of time and effort into this thing. Then you will have an endless supply of things to say about why this is valuable to people. And that's where it becomes helpful to do the, do the shift that nervousness and excitement are very energetically similar. We just need to start reframing some of that nervousness over into excitement and ask yourself, what would it look like if I totally went all in, if I really went all in on this thing, what would that look like?
And how can I do that? As long as you've decided, this is what's actually in alignment with you and shift into that excitement and just go nuts and see what happens.
[00:25:13] Jordan: Yeah. And I think it's helpful too, to once you've gone through kind of this, like. Recognizing of, is it fear or is it misalignment once you've done that a few times, you get better at figuring out what it is.
And I think that also helped when I had the pre the, the mid-launch jitters this last time, because it did make it a lot easier to be like, oh, this is actually me just being scared. This isn't me not being excited about doing this thing. And, and for me, what I've identified as a really clear sign of, misalignment.
So not the fear piece, but when it's truly like a thing that I don't wanna do, it feels heavy. And so for me, it's like a very physical feeling that I can experience. And so if I'm like feeling really heavy, I that's the sign that I don't need to do.
[00:26:06] Julia: Yeah, I think I totally get that. I know exactly that feeling that you're talking about, where it feels like your, like your feet are literal lead weights about like, all right, I guess we're gonna do this.
The benefit is also that as you make more of these decisions, and as you build more trust with your gut feeling, you start coming up with less ideas that are out of alignment for you.
Even if the idea kicks up where you're like. Somebody should offer that, but not me. Right? like, you know, you can see the needs, but it doesn't automatically become something that you are going to offer. You get really, really clear. So while you have less times where you're, you're falling for fear or misalignment, you're also just training yourself where you're not really spending a lot of time on things that aren't aligned with the direction that your business is moving in.
And I think you had a great example of that with a lot of the ideas that you've had since then, things have just like slammed together where it's like, boom, boom, boom. This is exactly how it's going. Because you're making those more aligned choices. So it's, it's less risk. Even the more you listen to your gut on
[00:27:11] Jordan: those alignment things.
Totally. And it, and it goes both ways too. Like it, it gets easier to tell like, oh, this is a thing that I actually wanna do. I'm excited to do. versus just like a random idea. And on the flip side, this is something that I don't wanna do. even though maybe I think I should. So like an example of that, that just happened recently.
we, we like the agency side of things. We used to offer social media management as like this upsell. And it's taken me a really long time to getting to the point where I'm just like, Nope, we do not do that ever under any circumstances. and it was kind of like a, a gradual approach because the, the first time that we offered it, like, I just, it, it didn't, it didn't feel good for me to offer it.
[00:27:50] Jordan: It was like this whole extra layer of complexity. And it felt like this thing that was like out of my control and. Anyway, it, it just, wasn't fun to actually deliver on. And so then instead of just getting rid of it as an offer, I said, oh, well, I'll make it more expensive. So hopefully nobody will want it.
but then I was like, every time someone would be interested in that, I would be like, oh gosh, I hope that they don't I hope that they don't become a client. You know, there's your sign right there. Ding, ding, ding, that you're offering something that you shouldn't offer. and I'm, I'm rereading clockwork right now.
[00:28:26] Jordan: So it's like really fresh in my mind. And he talks about like crush or cringe clients. And I, I love that because it's a really. not necessarily, that's not necessarily tangible, but kind of feels tangible to think about those cringe clients. It's not that there's anything wrong with them. It's just that you cringe when you think about like having to deliver the thing or them potentially becoming clients like that should never be a thing.
And, and now we've come all the way around to, we don't offer that service. I can give you a referral. And even as, as recently, as like a couple weeks ago, I was considering white labeling somebody else's social media management service under what we do. And then I had a client come and was interested in that.
And it was like, I don't know, what was I thinking? Why was I, why would I even offer that as an option? so I went back and just said, Nope, here's your referral. I would love for you to work with this person. , I'm not actually gonna do it.
[00:29:23] Julia: That comes with security in your offer too. That's also, every entrepreneur's trap is I'm just gonna bid this really high.
So that way, if they say yes, at least I'm making a lot of money, because guess what? For some reason, those clients almost always say yes. And so then even the amount of money that you asked for is still not enough compensation for you to be doing something that you hated. Totally, totally. So as we kind of move along the tracks, something that we've also talked a lot about is, navigating those times where it kind of just feels like.
everything in business is falling apart. like sell the whole thing. Why did I even decide to do this with my life at any point? And then incredibly like sometimes within hours with you, this incredible thing happens where it's like so affirming and then, you know, you book 17 clients in two minutes and like all of this stuff happens.
And so we've talked a lot about the, the breakdowns and the breakthrough mm-hmm . When did you first start to notice
[00:30:39] Jordan: that pattern? I feel like it was pretty early and, and for me, like the breakdown. I use as like a general term, because it can come in so many different ways. Like it can come in in just like a feeling like, oh my gosh, I totally lack self-confidence in what I'm doing.
And like, I, I am a total imposter and a fraud, and everybody's about to find out like, that can be an example of a break down. And it, and it, I think that feeling can even come up from something as simple as feeling like the client isn't satisfied, like them saying like one little comment and then like your day is ruined.
And it used to like really stick with me for sometimes days. And so I feel like that's an example, but then on the other side of it, it's like maybe firing a client or, you know, something bad happening in your business. Like we talked all about, in our last episode about firing clients and things like chargebacks and refunds, and that is obviously a breakdown or at least for me, it usually is like an emotional breakdown because it's just so stressful.
And it makes you really question, like, what am I doing? And do I have the ability to really juggle all of this? I haven't like lost any clients. actually, and so that's something that I feel like has always been like one of my biggest fears. I've had clients take sabbaticals, and go on pause, but it's never been a situation of like, someone's been really disappointed and like fired me, but I would imagine that would rank probably top of the list as far as breakdowns go.
what are some of the other breakdowns that I'm trying to think of an example of? Oh, I think just like. The financial stuff for me weighs really heavy. so maybe I'll give an exact example, because I like to talk about this, and have talked about this with clients and, and some people who are in the mastermind that I'm in, because I think it's so important.
[00:32:32] Jordan: I don't feel like enough people talk about it, but, I really, really rough month at the end of 2021 financially. And it was due to all kinds of reasons. It was due to giving a refund to a client who had signed on and taken a spot for a dream client, that then we couldn't fill. And, I had made it a big investment.
It was just all kinds of things, kind of like, coincided at the end of the year. And I. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to like pay myself and, or pay my business bills this month. Like, what am I gonna do? And so that was probably like the, the darkest, deepest time in my business where I was really questioning it.
And I sat down and did and put pen to paper on like worst case scenario, like, okay, what if I shut my business down? What would that look like? Like how would I go about offboarding clients? What would be like the outstanding things that I would need to do and pay people? And like, what would that actually look like for me to shut this business down?
I was like that stressed. and then kind of like up, up a level on worst case scenario from there, like what would it look like if I just didn't get another client and kind of just rode through this, And tried to like, keep things afloat until it bounced back. And so I ran worst case scenario on that, and then I ran.
So, and when I say I ran these, I put this in a spreadsheet. okay. So I was like actually tallying up expenses and client revenue and like exactly when things were gonna be coming in and coming out so that I could see what would work and what didn't. And ultimately I decided to just like, keep on keeping on, but I had to, like, I had to like cash out some of my investments, some of my personal investments to cover, expenses for my business.
And so that, again, , this is like the ultimate breakdown and almost immediately after. I got several new clients and then the next month had my highest month ever. I had a 50 K month and had this big 70 K launch. And it was just like one thing after another. I mean, now we have like almost five times as many clients as I had that month.
It's and that's all happened within, you know what? That was like eight months ago. Yeah. Nine
[00:34:51] Julia: months ago. Not long ago at all. No. No. Cause it's so that's oh yeah. That was like December .
[00:34:56] Jordan: Yeah, that's the, breakthrough after the breakdown as I call it
[00:35:00] Julia: yeah. And I distinctly remember getting the messages from you.
Like I remember where I was in my house because it was the real deal. Like I, I knew like, okay, this is. Go time. on yeah. On the emotional stuff. and that's really scary. And I remember, as we were talking, there was just like a lot of floating pieces and what ifs. And then it's like, what if this happens and what if that happens?
And that's actually one of my favorite exercises from cognitive behavioral therapy is like, okay, what's the worst thing that you think is gonna happen here? Like, what are you afraid of happening? Because you have to get those specifics. And once you get those specifics, then you can start to break down.
Okay. How likely is that to happen? If that were to happen? What would I do in those moments? We are desperately looking for some kind of signal that will be safe. That will be okay. And we don't necessarily like to think of our businesses in that way of like this need for safety. It feels so like personal and vulnerable, but that's exactly what it is.
Our livelihood is connected to it. And in fact, I would argue it's one of the most connected things to our safety is what's happening with our businesses. And so when that happened, it was really just like, all right, this is, this is serious. And after you had the metrics on that, something that you did quickly was you did honor your feelings.
You also kind of took some time to. Get away from it a little bit. I remember that you like incorporated some things to just get your mind off of it. Now that you had the metrics you were making sure to have some fun along the way too, and to give your brain a little bit of space, and then you had some clarity in there about who you wanted to work with, who you were going to look for moving forward.
And so then that allowed you to do, a lot of that work to find those
[00:37:01] Jordan: dream clients. Well, I, and I mean, we talk about this kind of in depth in that episode about firing clients, because I do think that that was a big part of it is that I completely let go of like this. I've gotta find like this energy of like, I've gotta find another client.
And that's kind of what, what had gotten me into, into this situation to begin with is that I had taken on a couple of clients that were not a good fit mm-hmm and. It was almost like I had to learn the lesson, because I had, I had ignored it a couple times, and I don't, I don't know this it's like the universe had to teach me a lesson of like, okay, see, this is what happens when you don't listen to your gut.
And when you don't know the things that, you know, you should do, or you do the things that, you know, you shouldn't do. And it was almost like this invitation to decide like, okay, am I really gonna learn the lesson this time? And am I gonna move forward and like, be ready for this next level of growth? Or am I just gonna like shy away and be terrified and be like, okay, this was, this was a mistake.
and I think it can just be so easy to, to do that. because I think we can all resonate with like these, these like dark times that we have in our business, you know? but it does always feel like an invitation to be ready for something. really, really good. If we can take the lesson from it,
[00:38:26] Julia: you have to have something in your toolkit to get you through.
And I think that's where that's the make or break where somebody could decide. Okay. Nope. We're just gonna take a few steps backwards, play a little smaller recover and just stay where we're at, because it's scary to, you know, play with the big dogs. But if on the other hand we have something that helps us decide like these things in our toolkit.
What am I gonna do if this happens, how do I get specifics on this next thing that's gonna happen? How much money do I need to make to get us out of this? Where do I wanna be making that money? How would I have the most fun making that money instead of looking inwards and going into a really desperate scarce place.
This is a time where we can look and say, how could I make the AB this be the absolute best thing. Moving forward, that gives us the permission to then grow. And if we do that now you're moving into the next level. And that's the scary thing. These, these moments happen throughout your business growth.
It happens right before you find your first client or sell your first product or whatever it is. It happens before you hit that next milestone, where now your business makes enough that you actually have to pay taxes. It happens before your next milestone of, you know, now I have to bring on a team member because I can't handle all of this myself.
It happens at each milestone as we go, and we're never immune to it. Then as we get up into that six figure space, you're just looking at the same kind of emotional things, but on a bigger scale, which arguably makes it even scarier because now you've got even
more
[00:40:09] Jordan: going on in the game. Yeah, for sure. And I wanna talk about that more in a second, but first I wanna.
Taiwan Bo on the piece about moving through the breakdown and seeing the lesson. And it's, it's interesting to me, cuz I feel like almost always I'm like tested immediately again. So end of the year fire the clients that aren't a good fit that I like looking back on, knew I shouldn't have taken on.
And immediately after had someone come to become a client and red flags, red flags, red flags, and the hardest thing I had to do was tell them no, when I was already in a place of being like worried financially. And I think that was the thing that almost was like the, the spark to be like, oh, I needed the money.
And I still said no. And then immediately after that is when the dream clients just like literally started pouring in. I mean, it was like. I don't know, call it coincidence or call it magic. I don't know. But it was like insane. It was insane.
[00:41:12] Julia: Yeah. And that's where we need to have some faith in the work that we've been putting in.
You know, there, there will always be different kinds of people who respond at different times to your messaging. And so you're allowed to take your time on your response to people who say they're interested in your services or say, they're interested in something you offer. You're allowed to change your mind on that too.
That can happen internally. You don't wanna be like, yeah, let's get started. Just kidding over and over again, cuz that's not gonna be fun, but you're allowed to take your time into find the right fit. And I think that's a really scary thing. again, because our businesses are so personal and we're so proud of this thing.
It's something that we've created. And when someone comes to us and says, oh, I really value that. I would love to have you a part of what I do. Then it's really difficult for us to be like, oh, well, I don't think we're a good fit because you're just so excited that somebody likes what you have, they're willing to pay you.
They're willing. That's incredible. Not everybody's doing that. So we get really excited about that. And so it is that next level of belief in yourself, belief in your offer and belief in your ability to connect with the right people that can give you the time to pause and say, well, I don't really think that we're gonna be a good fit and then go and find the people who are the good.
[00:42:33] Jordan: Yeah, I think there's something really important too, about like sticking to your values and ideals and like the things that you say that you're gonna do. Like I say, okay, I'm not gonna get in this situation again, cuz I'm not gonna hire a client that isn't like the best fit and then justifying your way out of it again and, and doing the same thing.
I think breathes this totally different energy in your business with your current clients, and outwardly to like your future clients than if you do make a decision to say, no, I'm AC I am going to stay consistent and I'm going to do the thing that I promised I myself I was going to do. And then you just show up in a very different way.
It's like this whole other layer of confidence that comes through, in everything. And what I also think is interesting is that for me, the, the breakthrough, after the breakdown, like continues to show up in like big ways and small ways.
it's so it's so consistent and predictable that I've come to like get excited when I'm having a breakdown, like when something has gone wrong and I'm like, oh my gosh, I, I think it can range from like questioning everything to just like, I'm having a bad day because like something didn't go right.
[00:43:56] Jordan: And, you know, I'm having an emotional reaction to it. Like it can, it can range, right. But every time something goes bad in my business, something went bad today. And I don't know, maybe we talk about it. Maybe we don't, but something went bad today and I would rate it like, not, not a 10, but maybe like a seven.
and I'm, I'm actually like kind of secretly excited cuz I'm like, Ooh, something went bad. What's about to pop off and go really well. Cause it always does so I think that's another way to look at it too. that usually it's some kind of like this weird, energetic exchange that like when something bad happens, something fan freaking is on the other side of it.
[00:44:34] Julia: Yeah. Especially when you're willing to learn from it and to do and to have the self-awareness to reflect on, okay. Why is this so upsetting to me and that. You know, connected to the bad thing. right. Where it's like, when you have a moment where you're like, oh, this is really triggering, or this is not an okay thing to have that self-awareness that this is, this is something going on internally.
How am I gonna work through this and process it? Then you've cleared up all of this emotional energy that when the good thing comes along, you're like, let's go for it because lots of good things come along after bad things happen. And if we haven't processed the bad thing, we don't even have the belief in ourself, the emotional capacity, the energetic capacity.
We don't have it in us to go and grab it, or to even view that thing as an opportunity. So when we do the work beforehand in the middle of the bad thing and process, okay, this has been really hard for me. Why is this? I'm if you can name. We're already off to a great start. Now we're meant to feel our emotions.
Our emotions are meant to flow through us. They're also a signal for us that something needs a change. You know, we're, I always say to my clients that nobody's just angry, just because there's always a, you know, we always say I'm so angry because there's, there's a reason that we're feeling that way. And so then we can explore it and, and think about what's going on with that.
So when we look at those, that emotional response, or why is this particular situation really throwing me now, here's your invitation to do the work on yourself so that you're really equipped for that next client or whatever that next opportunity is. You're gonna be ready to grab it because you have such good new belief in yourself that you didn't have an hour to two hours ago.
[00:46:25] Jordan: Yeah. I think everyone needs to rewind and listen to that again, because that is. So important. And I, I didn't even, I don't think I was even able to put my finger on that until you just said it. But honestly, I think that's one of the key things that has allowed me to grow this business so fast. And so I'll say easily compared to any other business that I've had, because we have done an insane amount of like personal work on me.
Like constantly, it never ends. I don't know how you do it because like, whoa, whoa. It's just a lot. It's like everything that happens, you can either examine it and learn from it and be like, what is the thing here? Like if, if you're not doing that, you are stifling your business growth a hundred percent hands down.
And man, gosh, Thank you, Julia.
[00:47:27] Julia: I love it. I love it. It's it's something that I literally eat up getting to do it. And then what makes me even prouder is when sometimes we'll be on a call. And then you'll be like, do you know why this is a problem for me? And then you tell me the personal thing that it is. And I'm like, yes, it's happening.
She's doing it because it's so hard. It's so hard. We think of ourselves in these really pocketed versions of ourselves. This is CEO me. This is personal me. This is hobby me. We have ourselves in all these different versions, but all of the things are connected. And so if we're not acknowledging like, oh, this thing is hard for me.
Because one time when I was six years old in dance class, this happened, right. We're not acknowledging that stuff. We don't understand ourselves. We, we become very dismissive of our needs and then you can't move forward. You can't. Yeah. And so I love getting to see. Those pathways. You're so quick at that now where you're like, oh, it's night day.
Oh, do you know why?
[00:48:31] Jordan: Yeah. It's awesome. It's night and day. I'm usually now it's, I'm not like messaging you in a panic, I'm messaging you to be like, here's what happened. And here's why I, why I did it. And like, yeah, you know, let's figure it out. But I already know why, you know, whereas before, like I pretty much never cry on our calls anymore.
Not that that's necessarily like, it's not that it was a bad thing, but I feel like I used to cry way more often because it was just like that base level of like, figuring out all of these things, that now I feel like we've got a good handle on, and it's just like, they're showing up in different ways, but we kind of know how to deal with them for the most part
[00:49:09] Julia: Yeah. And there's just a lot of healing, right? Like sometimes when it's the first time that we have looked and said, oh, that experience has been with me and has affected me for a lot longer than I thought. It can make us a little sad. There's a little bit of a grieving process. That's there. Mm-hmm and that's okay.
Because that's what makes us human. And that again goes to that idea of understanding ourselves, like, yeah. Okay. That did stick with you and here you are. And you're, you're figuring these things out and you're doing it and you know, that's a huge release of emotion. So it's, you know, I'm okay with crying but there has been, you've done a lot of processing and healing, and now it's more of the awareness of the things you're thinking and feeling at the same time versus only feeling the thinking are only, you know, only thinking are only feeling now the two things are happening at the same time.
Yeah.
[00:50:05] Jordan: Yeah. So all of that to say, everyone need to, you need to get yourself a Julia . It's absolutely critical if you don't have one already. I don't know if you have spots, but, I'd agree. so there was another piece that I was gonna mention that you talked about earlier, which. You know, we were just messaging about this the other day.
I feel like nobody , nobody talks about maybe I'm just like, not in the know or paying attention, but I don't feel like anybody talks about how this stuff does not get easier. The more money that you're making no, it just gets different. And, and I was even having a conversation with my husband the other day about it, because I was like, as my business has grown, I've hit these really cool milestones.
And I am actually like more stressed in some ways, is it's not like, oh, I'm worried about finding a client. It's like, oh, I'm worried about if an employee leaves like how I would deal with that. And like the fallout that I would experience and like the fear around that, or. Or, or on the flip side of that, what if something crazy happened and my business imploded, and I have all these employees who are accounting on me for their livelihood, like that's such a different thing to worry about, that no one really talks about.
And I'm like, wait a minute, where are we not talking about this? I would've liked to know this ahead of time.
[00:51:32] Julia: believe it or not money doesn't solve all of our problems. And that is a hard thing to wrap our head around because of the world that we live in. And, when you have your own business, there's always one more thing that it's like, Ooh, if I could cash flow, that this would get so much easier.
If I could, if I had this milestone, this would be a lot easier, but you're exactly right. The worries increase and they just look different. And there's also this strange idea of. What we present to the world where, and I think social media has had a lot to do with that too, where it's like, if you're an expert in this field and now you own the business, and you're talking about your business life, all online, if it's this very like duplicitous thing where we don't really talk about the difficult things, because that would be bad advertising for our business in some way, if we did it, versus when you're in a job, everybody comes home and complains about their job.
But when it's your business, like, okay, who do you, who do you talk to then? And so I think that a lot of that has resulted in very stifled feelings. And then there's a lot of competition where people don't wanna let on that. They're having a hard time with certain things or talk about some of the struggles.
People are really lacking community with other entrepreneurs to talk about those things, because everyone's in this weird competition where it's like, I gotta look like I've got my whole life together. And it's a, it's a real
[00:52:58] Jordan: shame. It is a shame is, and, and we're just gonna combat that. And that's kind of the whole purpose of this podcast, cuz clearly this episode has not been an advertisement for the fact that you should work with me.
Look at all these problems I have. but we're moving through them. And I mean, ultimately I still run a like really amazing thriving profitable agency, but it's not like sunshine and rainbows. And I just get frustrated that people are not TA like having these conversations because it creates this really inaccurate, inauthentic picture of what it's like to run a business.
And this is the other thing I've been thinking about lately that really, really pisses me off. I'm it just, it does this whole thing about anti hustle culture. Yes, of course, of course we shouldn't all be hustling and like harming our health because we're working so much shots fired. Go ahead. but, but what I think is starting to happen or is, is like maybe full throttle happening is the opposite is, is being like glamorized and glorified of like, I don't work at all.
And I have like a seven figure business. I work an hour a day and then everybody who's out there like me. I don't work 20 hours a week. I mean, sometimes I do, but for the most part, I work like a normal work week and I'm okay with that. And it's actually taken me a while to get comfortable with the fact that I don't work a 20 hour work week.
And I'm not selling you this. Magic blueprint. That's gonna enable you to work an hour a day and make seven figures because honestly, I think that's BS and anyone out there who's selling you this whole like self care's the most important thing and don't hustle. Well, if your business doesn't work out because that's like the thing that you're doing, like don't be surprised because business is hard and hard work and hustle are kind of similar.
just don't burn yourself out. I, I don't know. I'm just really irritated about this whole thing
[00:55:02] Julia: right now. Yeah. I think there's a lot of inaccuracies there cuz I am anti hustle, culture of the hustle culture. That was, you know, you think of like the wake up at 4:00 AM and like, you know, magical morning it or whatever, you know, and, and that just, that was another opposite.
End of unrealistic expectations for people, ambition and hard work are. Are different necessarily than the like, you know, leave it all on the table, get totally burnt out. This is what you need to do in order to succeed. I just saw a post today that I was kind of like, eh, that's kind of gross. Or it was like your lack of consistency and lack of discipline are the only things that are stopping you from where you wanna be.
And I'm like, Hmm, I don't, that's gross. I dunno about that. But that to me is like, if you could sum up hustle culture in a sentence, it's that right? Where it's like, all right, that's, that's kind of gross, cuz there's so many factors that come in and even the idea of consistency, like, you know, please don't even get me started on that, but then you factor in the unrealistic ease and that is super unfair.
Yeah. Because we all have had months where we're. Do do I have a business? Am I gonna have a business next month? Like what's, what's happening. There's all those moments of scariness or an investment that wasn't actually a good investment for you. Yeah. Or taking the time, going all in on a project and it wasn't right for you.
And we all have those in our businesses. That's that is the risk of having a business. And when people present this ease of like, everything just came together for me and it was all perfect. And we already know that's not true because what got you to the point where everything came together. I know we've had that conversation a lot too, where I'm like, you worked hard for that oh yeah.
Just because it came together today doesn't mean you haven't been working on that laying the groundwork for this months in advance. And so, yeah, I think that anytime somebody's also this, like one size fits all follow my exact process and everything will be totally perfect in your like, you know, You've got a seven figure business in a month and a half.
If it sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true. And everybody is working. Yeah. Everyone is putting in the effort. Yeah. I think that that like shift between causing yourself physical and emotional harm for your, for the sake of the business. Cuz then what's it for anyway, if you got nothing, let's not do that.
Yeah. Let's not do that, but also be okay with working hard. Yeah. Because there's joy in hard work. It's good for us to work hard. We like it. We are goal oriented beings. Like it's good for us to have those things or else we're a little bit purposeless yet. It's always, that's. The other thing about social media, especially is it's everybody has to have a polarizing opinion.
Mm-hmm so it's like, okay, we don't like this extreme. We're gonna go to that extreme because then people, you know, love me or hate me. It's all good publicity. It's it's
[00:58:07] Jordan: all what it is. You know? And so to me it feels like it's, it's like the shame component of it or something that. It's like, you are not really a successful female entrepreneur if you're not working 20 hours a week, like yeah.
gimme a break. Like I'm over here and I'm trying to build a multimillion dollar agency, like that's gonna happen. And yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to work my ass off for it. And I recognize that and I'm okay with that. And that is actually really fulfilling to me. And what I'm over and irritated by is that I ever felt bad that I'm, that I'm working more than 20 hours a week.
[00:58:45] Jordan: That's the thing that I'm over, like stop telling people that they're a failure if they're working hard, I'm
[00:58:51] Julia: done with it. Yeah. I remember that even, in the beginning stages of when you were getting your business going and I was like, tell me about your business. is your dream come true? like, this is happening.
What does your life look like? Cuz I'm very big on that with my clients. Especially when we're working on a business thing, people go all in on how the business is gonna feel and how it's gonna look and all that stuff. But I wanna know. Okay. So what are you gonna do with it? Like what's what is, what are we using with that time or that, that money?
Like how are you going to be improving your life or having fun or doing that stuff alongside of it. And I remember you saying you wanted to be working like 20 to 25 hours a week. And then when we actually worked out what was happening, it was not 20 to 25 hours a week. And I remember being like, okay.
But like, this is what you said that you wanted, and then you were like, oh yeah. And then we were like, so what if you just did whatever you need to do? and then it was like, oh yeah, okay. You know that moving forward. But that, that 20 hours was like a one in your head that you were like, yeah, that's, that's what I'm supposed to be doing.
Yeah. Is
[00:59:57] Jordan: supposed to, yeah, that felt like I was a failure if I wasn't, if I wasn't doing that, because that's the whole point of being an entrepreneur because you got time, freedom and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like yes, of course. Of course. That is the, that is one of the perks, but I'm also not building like.
I don't know. I think some people are building like lifestyle businesses. Mm-hmm, , I'm not building a lifestyle business. I'm building a freaking empire over here. And that probably means I'm gonna work more than people who are just trying to build a six figure, you know, lean, low key, they vacation all the time.
Like, that's fine. That doesn't actually sound that fun to me. and that's a personal choice. And that's the thing that I feel like there's not room for in this space is more personal choice. Yeah.
[01:00:48] Julia: Especially because like you have, you're told like, oh, you have to talk to your people, you have to talk to the person.
So then it's like, oh, okay, well that, messaging's not for me. But some of it is harmful in the sense that it can make us feel, you know, it's kind of like when you look at someone's picture and you're like, oh, okay. That is loaded with filters or like Kim Kardashian just got in trouble for editing out like her trips, muscle, which is like the strangest thing for any human to have like, you know, a complex about.
But here we are, this is what's happening. And so, but when you saw that picture, if you didn't take a minute to look at it and be like, oh yeah, the water is really wavy. And why is her neck so much longer on that side? You would just be like, oh, that's what she looks like. It's this inaccurate portrayal of how a person looks, but they've done all this information on how is this actually altering, especially young teenage girls' perception of themselves and beauty and all these things moving forward.
Well, the same, thing's kind of happening to our businesses when it's only presented with the rosy and the inaccurate filtered version of the realities of running a business, then what are you to do? But you're to think that that's how you're supposed your business is supposed to look because you don't have anything else to compare it to.
So. It's really valuable to hear other business owners talk about the nitty gritty stuff, the real and the raw real and the raw. because then you just know you're not alone. This is the reality. And if these things happen to you, it's not some moral failing on your part. It's just normal business owner stuff.
And that means that you are running a business, if those things are happening. Yeah,
[01:02:29] Jordan: totally. Yeah. I guess that's, that's the thing that I would like to see more of is just actual conversations about what people wanna do in their business, because that's, that's actually really hard to figure out because there's so much of this noise out there about what you should be doing and how a successful business looks or what a successful CEO does.
And it's hard not, I mean, even a lot of the, like the marketing language that I use could be feeding into that. I don't know. I mean, I am really big on not hustling. I mean, I'm big on working hard, but let's not burn ourselves out and get, make ourselves sick, but. I'm really big on, on ease. And for me, ease is different than, than not working.
Mm-hmm like, I'm not, you know, trying to set Mar I mean, I am trying to kind of sip margaritas all day. Like that would be great, but, I also like to work. And so I think the thing to do is to really figure out what do you actually want your business to look like? You know, looking forward, like we did that exercise and it was, is the thing that you're saying you wanna build matching up to how you actually wanna be living in your business and with your business.
And for some people they may wanna grow something really big and have dozens of employees. And for other people, they may be okay with solo, printing it up for the rest of their life. I mean, but that is such a different path. That is, those are two very different paths and obviously there's a million in between.
And that's the thing that I feel like people are just not talking about and not getting clear on for themselves even,
[01:04:07] Julia: no, it's like a dirty little secret, you know, and again, I think a lot of that goes to, the messy middle. I know you've talked about that before, too. Mm-hmm where it's like, okay, what's going on?
And that's where it's really important to be connected to a community or working with a coach who can help you on this stuff because, or even working with professionals, like in what you're doing, because then that can give you a realistic understanding of like, okay, what is a successful launch? What is this thing that's happening?
How much time should I be actually planning to put towards this project for the results that I'm looking for? We just need more realistic. Chatter, because on the other side of it, we're getting all of this. Like I worked two hours a week and had a hundred thousand dollars launch. Okay. But you know, how much money did you spend spend on ads or like all that kinda stuff.
And that, that's where I think, I know last year there was a lot of focus on pay transparency in, especially in the coaching space, in the, you know, entrepreneur world, because people may come out and say I've made X amount of dollars, but then what their actual take home pay was is obviously gonna be significantly less because they're investing in team members and then they're, they're, you know, all the things that run the business.
But we don't think about that. We always think, oh, they took. Six figures. We're not thinking about the fact that for all we know, I remember one of the statistics, I was like shocked, cuz it was like their take home pay for the whole year was like under $10,000. And I was like, yeah, it
[01:05:48] Jordan: was like, that is, you gotta revisit some things.
But
[01:05:51] Julia: I was also proud of them for, you know, putting that out there. I was holy smokes. I was so nosy. Every time I saw those posts of like, what did I actually make this year? I was like, let's look at it. Let's see it. Ah, so yeah, but you know the messaging and the way that you look at, especially the, the more they're investing in the business, the shinier, their business is going to look.
Yeah. And so then we're gonna be like, wow, they've really got it together. But we don't really know. We don't know anything about it.
[01:06:18] Jordan: What I think is not also not talked about is. For me, when I, when I started this business, I didn't realize how important having a nanny was for me. And that was like, kind of one of my early goals. When I started the business, I was like, I just wanna be able to afford a nanny and like, okay, maybe this makes me look bad.
I don't know. I swear. I'm not a bad mom. Like I love my kids, but I love working. And so like being able to make a little bit of money over the cost of paying for a nanny to me was like, oh, this is great. Because that felt like the thing that I wanted to spend my money on. So I think that's where it gets really complicated too, because you, you kind of, you can get in your head about like how much money you're making versus like what you're spending it on and the value that you're getting from those things.
And so now obviously I have, well, not obviously people, probably people don't know what I make, but I make way more than what my nanny costs a month. Okay. And I mean, that feels much better, but early days that was like almost enough for me, that like, felt like success to me. And so again, it's like going back to what feels good for you and your business and not getting caught up in the, well, I need to be making X, Y, Z, because who cares what your revenue is.
If you can't afford the things like the base level, things that you wanna be able to afford, and vice versa, maybe your revenue doesn't look that great on paper, but you're able to pay for all the things that you wanna pay for. Great.
[01:07:59] Julia: That's a huge thing that we have to have that refresh run. I remember, not long after my husband and I got married, we had this realization of like, we're spending so much time with the people that we work with and not as much time with each other.
And we are our favorite people on this planet. and so we did this big, like look at what were our goals, what was the life that we wanted to live? And then our income came second on that we wanted to figure out how are we gonna prioritize that? And that's like a big way that we live our life. We have a lot of things that we work on together, and that's what our work is always supporting is that thing for us.
And so it is so important to look and be like, what's your idea of success? What does that look like? And I do that so much, even with my clients on a daily level, because a lot of the clients that I work with they're in it. They're getting overwhelmed about things. A lot of them not even intentionally, but a lot of my clients have ADHD because I think I'm just like putting the vibes out there.
Mm-hmm I don't know. We all find each other somehow, but, That idea of like, what are the three things that you would do today to make today? Feel like a success is so helpful because then it's driving you towards like, what's that bigger goal. And if the more times we can make ourselves feel like a success, the more we can lessen this, like huge up and down swing and all over the place that we feel when we have to change our mind, when things go wrong.
When we're scared about the next steps, when we're comparing our business to other people's businesses, we need to keep locked in on what are we doing here? Where are we going with it? Why are we doing it? And what's gonna be successful.
[01:09:43] Jordan: So true. And like this all applies to personal and also business. And for anyone who's heard of EOS entrepreneurial, operating system, they have this cool exercise, called the vision traction organizer.
I think what it's called. Let me just. It's called the vision traction organizer. I've got mine right here and I filled this out when I first started my business and I used this same thing for my husband. And I just did this the other day for like our family. because it has you zoom out and like, look at your values and look at, like your tenure vision.
And then like, I think it's maybe five or three year and then one year and then 90 day goals. And so we just did this the other day as a family, because I was finding that I was like, not clear on what we were trying to do. Like, as we were both like moving up professionally and making more money, I was like, okay, well, what are we trying to do here?
Exactly. Like what are our values? And we wrote them down and to us, they, I had this like weird moment of clarity because I was like, well, yeah, obviously like all of these values make sense. And there was a couple, we almost didn't write down. And then I was like, no, let's like write 'em down. And I looked at 'em after I was like, wow.
These feel really like obvious to us, but I bet these look very different than other people's. Like, most people, like there was things on there. I was like, most people wouldn't put that on there. Like we had a little bit of a realization that we both like, we both like to spend money on like luxury slash frivolous slash techy stuff.
Like I just bought an aura ring and like, I, I want, I like to be able, I like to be able to buy things like that randomly without even a second thought. And I know some people aren't into that.
[01:11:35] Julia: I didn't know that I thought everybody was . Yeah, no.
[01:11:38] Jordan: And that was the thing, like, that was one of the things that I was like, should we even write this down?
Doesn't everybody like to buy stuff like that, but I don't think that they do and no. And it was, it was helpful for us to get clear that like, we both like to do that. I mean, my husband spent. A gross amount of money on restoring a classic truck this year. And that's what he wanted to spend his money on our money on cuz it was ours, our money.
and he's still spending money on it, believe it or not. but that's important to him. And so like, those are the things that you gotta get clear on for all this other stuff to make sense. Otherwise you got no idea what you're actually working towards. So that has been really helpful for us.
[01:12:19] Julia: I love that.
I love that. It's again, back to that idea, especially when you work for yourself of like what's it all for? What's it all for? Yeah. You know, we, we are doing this. We like to work. I get it. That's I also like to work I've, you know, I can't imagine sometimes I do think like, oh, you know what? I bet I would like the like, stay at home wife life, but I don't, what would I do?
I mean, I always, I would go crazy. So I, you know, we have to do that. We, we have to know ourselves, but then also like, honestly, what is it for? We can't be one dimensional. We, we're not one dimensional. So you deserve to look and say, what's important to me. What are my values? What are our values as a family?
And how can we do more of that? Because, we we're goal oriented people, but that also means goals towards fulfillment. And none of us, none of us lit are like, insulars. Is that the word I want? But we all are. We're all in a community. So like, how are we a part of that community? How are we affecting the people around us?
What are our values there and how are we going to use our gift as entrepreneurs that we have this ability to do things or, you know, whatever it is, how are we going to, to add to the people around us because of it?
[01:13:35] Jordan: Yeah. Mm. Well, I was gonna go to Donna rabbit hole about like, the lack of transparency around money, but I think I'm gonna save that and maybe we have a whole other episode, I think so that, yeah.
because I think that would just, it would take us down too far. So that was a really positive way to end. anything else you wanna share before we wrap?
[01:13:56] Julia: I think that's it. This was a lot of
[01:13:57] Jordan: fun. That was a, that was a fun one. There was a lot there. So thanks again. I'll see you. Thank you. I'll see you in a few weeks for another one.
Okay.